What Do You Want?

It’s the season of giving, but let’s take a moment to talk about what you WANT.

Yesterday I was struck again by how powerful it is to simply declare what you want.  It was just a small thing (actually a small, furry thing…) yet such a clear example:


My daughter Cora and I were at the SPCA animal shelter — we’ve both wanted a cat for years, but Brian is allergic.  Now that Brian and I have separated and I have my own place, we could finally get a cat!

We’d been looking at cats for almost 2 hours…

Heather, the SPCA adoption specialist, had showed us ALL the cats in ALL the cages, plus we’d already visited the sweet cat a neighbor was giving away. I would have picked several, but Cora wasn’t satisfied with any…

At last I asked her, somewhat exasperated,
“honey, what do you want in a cat?”


She described her perfect kitty“I don’t want a cat, I want a cute kitten… I want it to be a lap-cat but also playful, with short hair so it doesn’t shed, not skittish, really friendly & curious & smart but also mellow & sweet…”

It was a long and rather contradictory list, but I added to it:  “If we get a kitten, I want it to be old enough so it’s already trained to use a litter box & not claw up furniture.”

Sounded like a tall order…

But just in case, as we headed out I told Heather our whole list. Maybe she could notify us if a cat like that came in.

Instead, she pointed us to an area we somehow hadn’t seen.

There in the back of the room, away from all the cages and people, a volunteer was cuddling a little cat. “This kitty’s sister was adopted today, so she’s feeling sad,” the volunteer explained.

Cora sat down.  The kitten walked onto her lap and started purring. Cora melted.  “Oh, her name is ‘Sugarplum!'” she exclaimed. “It’s a sign!” (Cora is dancing in the Nutcracker ballet, where the Sugarplum Fairy is the prima ballerina…)

In fact the little cat exactly fit our “long & contradictory” description, and we both fell in love. She’s absolutely PURRFECT!  (Sorry, couldn’t resist ;-p)

Reminded me of how ‘magically’ I found my ideal apartment…

What’s going on here?
“I want …” is one of THE most powerful things you can say, right up there with “I AM …” or a heart-felt “I love you.”

You might be thinking, “Well, I’ve thought a LOT about what I want , but I haven’t gotten it!

Here are 5 tips to help “I want” turn into a ‘magical’ result:

* Don’t just think about it. DECLARE it, in writing or by telling someone.

Want something very specific? (like a cat or apartment) BE Specific — list all the details.   Then let go of thinking about it, just trust it will work out… But when you get an inspiration, act on it. (Like, “Before we go, I’ll just tell Heather exactly what we want in case a cat like that turns up later.”)

Want something vague?  (like a ‘soul mate’ or ‘perfect’ job or ‘great’ body)  Specify the exact experience you desire, the essence of how you want to feel and be… Then let go of thinking about it, just trust it will work out… But as you get inspirationact on it.

* Want more time or money? They’re just stand-ins for what you really want. Get clear: what do you want them for?  What would having them allow you to do or be?  That’s what you really desire.

Don’t think you want anything? Unless you’ve reached the Buddhist nirvana of non-attachment, to be alive is to desire — if not material things, or sex, then to make a greater contribution, heal relationships, know God, be more present etc.

So if you’re not in touch with YOUR wants, turn your “wanter” on!  Listen to your heart’s desires. What do you deep-down long for ?  Write it down, then have the courage to follow that pure intention and take inspired action. As I can personally attest, it may feel terrifying, but it leads to unimaginable growth, happiness and fulfillment.

Oh, and listening for heart’s desires can also help you give the most magical gifts. ;-p

All the best to you this holiday season!
Love and blessings,
Pamela's signature



P.S. Do your deepest desires make you feel sad, guilty, or angry?  You probably think it’s hopeless… If you’d like to change that or have questions (or comments!), please comment below and I’ll reply.


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