There are 2 major mistakes we tend to make — and they drain away our energy and joy each day.
They both involve tolerating conditions that really bother us.
My friend and former client Martha came over recently and pointed out an irony I’ve long tried to ignore: “Pam, you’re all about light and clarity in your work, and yet you live in a dark and cluttered house. What’s up with that?”
I could feel my face flush, like I’d been caught doing something nasty.
And, I realized, it IS nasty to live in conditions that pull me down every single day, when my work is about lifting people up — especially when I tell myself it’s the fault of my family members that I ‘have to’ live like this. (Then I resent these people I love, and feel hopeless…) Yuck!
Amazing what we’ll tolerate until something wakes us up… Only then do we realize its true cost in lost energy, lost love (sorry family!), and lost joy (a cluttered environment makes me feel grumpy and anxious). And only that realization gives us the courage to finally DO SOMETHING about it.
Thanks to Martha, I’m finally doing something about the clutter and darkness that’ve been bugging me for over 9 years — getting rid of boxes of stuff we don’t need, reorganizing, letting more light in, and creating a beautiful, inspiring home office to work with my local clients.
It feels so liberating, I can’t believe I waited so long!
So what are you tolerating in YOUR life? What is draining your energy and joy, and leaving you feeling uninspired, tired, overwhelmed, irritable, or hopeless?
Two places to look:
* Mistake # 1: accepting intolerable (for you) conditions around you — clutter in your home or work space (if you don’t love it &/or use it, it’s clutter); a job or relationship that stiffles you; no time in your schedule to nourish yourself with reflection, pleasure, and rest; lack of support or negativity from people around you
*Mistake #2: accepting intolerable (for you) conditions in you — judgmental thoughts about yourself or others; emotions of anxiety, envy, guilt, shame, or self-pity; health problems; build-up of stress and lack of self-care/ways to manage it
Now, what can you do about it?
Usually the answer involves getting the support you need to make the changes you want. If I hadn’t hired Martha, I would still be stuck with huge amounts of clutter and living and work spaces that drain my energy. I’m so grateful for her fresh vision and do-able steps!
You probably know it’s important to surround yourself with people who support and inspire you, and bring out the best in you — people who see new possibilities where you see only energy drains and frustration.
Unfortunately those closest to you, your family and friends, usually can’t do this. (Typically they’re part of the problem, and can only add friction and drama to your sense of overwhelm.)
The support you desire is more likely to come in the form of mentors or coaches who “get you” and truly have your best interest at heart. I personally have a decluttering/interior redesign coach (Martha Kinney), a spiritual coach (Ravi Walsh), and two business mastermind groups that I belong to. I wouldn’t be where I am without them.
So choose wisely! Be very discerning about where you invest your precious time and energy. Stop tolerating conditions and relationships that don’t work. Begin to invest more time with people who feed and inspire you, and less time with those who don’t — in every area of your life. Your life will quickly change for the better!
Have feedback or comments? I’d love to hear — please comment below.